There were scenes of devastation reported in Marston Bigot after a tractor fell through the road and landed upside-down in a boggy stream. The thoroughfare from Marston Pound crossroads to Iron Mills Bridge had been closed as the road over the stream is now merely a skim of tarmac, the hard-core having been washed away by recent storms. The Road Closed signs were repeatedly moved by members of the public so they could keep using it anyway. This resulted in the untimely demise of local stalwart, Mr Farmy McFarmface as he drove his tractor over the road closed signs, whilst smoking a fat cigar and muttering about ‘blinking ‘elf and safety’. He is survived by a pig, a goat and two chickens, all of whom are blaming EU regulations for the incident.

Yep, you’ve guessed it – I’ve caught the fake news bug! The above is patent nonsense… EXCEPT THE PART ABOUT THE ROAD BEING CLOSED. It’s genuinely dangerous so please, please, PLEASE don’t use it and if you see the road closed signs have been moved (again) please either let us know, or pop them back yourself.

Councillor Salmon is putting the pressure on to get the road fixed but it’s likely to be April before that’s possible. We’ll keep you informed in the usual way.